You're in a situation when your dog and partner aren't getting along, so now what?
Try these tips to help both of them feel more positive about each other:
1. Give your dog time to adjust to your partner
Moving in a new person or having a new partner spending time in your home can be a significant change for a dog. Especially when they've had you all to themselves for a while!
Give your dog time to adjust to your partner's presence. Don't try and rush interactions.
2. Respect your dog's boundaries
If your dog is showing signs of fear or worry, it's important to respect their boundaries. Don't force interactions and allow your dog to approach on their own terms.
Gradually increase the amount of time your dog spends with your partner in a calm and positive setting. This could be by going on walks with you, or simply being in the same room initially.
3. Create positive associations with your partner
Start off by having your partner throwing yummy high value treats (think chicken or cheese) on the floor a little distance away for your dog to eat. Alternatively your partner can 'treat and retreat' to create even more distance. Maintaining distance in this way will help help keep your dog calm and feeling safe.
Encourage your partner to spend time being involved in all of the things your dog loves. These could include meal times, going on walks, sniffing games, enrichment activities and play time.
Try and direct as much of the good stuff in your dog's life through your partner as you can. This helps your dog build positive associations with them and helps teach them that when you partner is around pawsome stuff happens.
4. Provide a safe space for your dog
Make sure that your dog has a space that they can retreat to whenever they need to where they will not be disturbed. This could be a quiet room, a bed, a pen or a crate if they are crate trained.
5. Train together
Involve your partner in short training games with your dogs. Reward based training is a fun and bonding activity that can help your dog and partner develop their relationship and trust.
6. Reinforce good choices your dog makes
Calmly reward your dog when they display calm or friendly behaviour around your partner. Positive reinforcement will tell your dog what you want them to do and strengthen these behaviours so that they are repeated. Avoid punishing your dog, including telling your dog, off as this will only serve to reinforce negative feelings.
7. Stay calm and patient
Dogs can pick up on human emotions, so it's important that your partner remains relaxed during interactions.
8. Build your dog's calmness - especially in the house
Calmness is king! A calm dog is usually a happy dog and their arousal bucket is not full. This means that they are able to think and make good choices rather than reacting to situations.
Promoting calmness and introducing arousal bucket emptying activities everyday is beneficial for all dogs.
Avoid doing things that over stimulate and over arouse your dog in the house - try and keep things 'spa like' and keep 'Las Vegas' for the garden.
Chill out training can also be really helpful to help turn down a dog's dimmer switch and promote calmness.
9. Identify and manage things that trigger a negative response
Record details of anything that can trigger a negative response from your dog, then manage situations and environments so that these triggers are eliminated and cannot have a detrimental effect.
Consider any underlying issues your dog might have, such as previous trauma or anxiety, which could be influencing their behaviour. Addressing these issues can be key to improving the relationship.
10. Safety first! Get your management in place
Make sure that you put a safety plan in place to manage personal interactions and your home environment to make sure that everyone is kept safe and to prevent rehearsal of unwanted behaviours.
When to seek professional help
If things don't improve or start to escalate contact a qualified force-free dog trainer or behaviourist to work on a personalised plan to help you.
Your vet may have a behaviourist they can refer you to, or organisations such as the IMDT have a directory of externally assessed, qualified trainers and behaviourists on their website.
It's also worth checking your pet insurance policy as some cover behaviourist support,
Free resources
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